I don’t really want to be living in this small town and maybe I lied about THAT to get the job but I’m good at it despite the fact they haven’t trained me properly. I have to work everything out for myself. Read the rest of this entry »

I suppose this is just a way to release some built up stress. I’ve decided to just write out my thoughts to better understand myself, what it is I’m thinking.

Today I realized I am a hopeless romantic, unattractive and infinitely unappealing in the eyes of my women friends. Essentially, being used by said women, to be hooked up through my guy friends, who, themselves are what the vast majority of women consider attractive. I really have nothing to complain about though. It makes them all happy. Though, sometimes I wonder, why am I given the emotion of feeling like I’m supposed to care about these people, when in the end, I’m the one forgotten about, and pushed away? It’s almost as if I’m supposed to learn from the mistakes of caring about other human beings, and their happiness, and solely focus on pleasing what urges or desires I have instead…. Read the rest of this entry »