dont know why i decided to have these kinds of relationships
Message = i lost my virginity to an 18 year old when i was 11. when i was 12 i had sex a lot with a 25 year old… and i still miss him and have no idea why… had sex with a step cousin… and now in a relationship with an 18 year old and i am 14. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve been clean off heroin for a couple months now,
but every day I think about it, the way it made me feel, and the the low lives I had the pleasure of meeting on my mission to buy it. I wasn’t just addicted to the drug I was addicted to the life style, walking around north Philly at 4:30 am, hearing gun shots watching as the drug dealers dragged out the junkie that just OD in their living room, just wondering if next time is that gonna be me. It didn’t make thing easier that i had a partner in crime, the girl who first introduced me to the drug making sure no one robbed her,raped her,or what ever else came across their sick minds. and it felt like i was addicted to her.going to meet up wit her dealer and giving me a bag like it was me award for going with her. will I use heroin again I don’t know, hopefully not.

I’m gay.My boyfriend is cheating on me.I cant let him go.I have no friends.I am depressed.I dont eat.I’m very thin.I wish somebody could help me.I wish somebody loved me.I wish the pain stopped.

Lately things have been really bad….My counseling appointment was canceled last week because my counselor was on vacation, I am a compulsive shopper and spent like $1000 in like 2 days, I’m a cutter, my b/f broke up with me, and another friend told me that he no longer wants to be my friend anymore.I have major issues.I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and Avoidance Personality Disorder (which is a serve form of social phobia! ) I wish I had someone to talk to…My whole world seems to be crashing down on me….

I hate not being noticed. It makes me feel like I don’t exist. I’ve done a lot of insane things for attention. I spend a great deal of my time plotting ways to draw more attention to myself. I cut my hair into an extreme style; only a few people noticed. I am still trying to figure out ways to get people to notice me. But I really only do it because I don’t have any close relationships outside of my immediate family. I wish someone would care. I’ve always wanted a best friend, someone who I’m close to and who is close to me. I’ve never had one. I’m too socially impaired. A good analogy would be this: when you’re starving to death you’re willing to eat anything. When you’re starving for someone caring if you live or die, you get desperate for someone to give you some attention. I know I’m pathetic. I hate myself.

I told him I was interested a few months ago.  We decided to “try
things”.  We went on a few dates, I spent a few nights at his house.  I fell
asleep in his arms and woke up in the same place.  Actually, we’d both
wake up around the same time, separated from one another, but he’d
sleepily pull me close to him again so we could wake up together when his
alarm would go off.  He kissed me in private, and he kissed me like he
meant it. Read the rest of this entry »