Tellsecrets » Addiction

dont know why i decided to have these kinds of relationships

Anonymous — Thu, 19 May 2011 21:17:21 +0000

dont know why i decided to have these kinds of relationships
Message = i lost my virginity to an 18 year old when i was 11. when i was 12 i had sex a lot with a 25 year old… and i still miss him and have no idea why… had sex with a step cousin… and now in a relationship with an 18 year old and i am 14.

i’m not sure if a trust him or not… he always is trying to get me to have sex with him and i am trying to commit myself to jesus and live for him but it is sooo hard to pull myself away from this guy

NO MORE FUCKING HEROiN

Anonymous — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 23:21:05 +0000

I’ve been clean off heroin for a couple months now,
but every day I think about it, the way it made me feel, and the the low lives I had the pleasure of meeting on my mission to buy it. I wasn’t just addicted to the drug I was addicted to the life style, walking around north Philly at 4:30 am, hearing gun shots watching as the drug dealers dragged out the junkie that just OD in their living room, just wondering if next time is that gonna be me. It didn’t make thing easier that i had a partner in crime, the girl who first introduced me to the drug making sure no one robbed her,raped her,or what ever else came across their sick minds. and it felt like i was addicted to her.going to meet up wit her dealer and giving me a bag like it was me award for going with her. will I use heroin again I don’t know, hopefully not.

All my secrets

Anonymous — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:52:07 +0000

I’m gay.My boyfriend is cheating on me.I cant let him go.I have no friends.I am depressed.I dont eat.I’m very thin.I wish somebody could help me.I wish somebody loved me.I wish the pain stopped.

I’m so Overwhelmed

Anonymous — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 23:42:49 +0000

Lately things have been really bad….My counseling appointment was canceled last week because my counselor was on vacation, I am a compulsive shopper and spent like $1000 in like 2 days, I’m a cutter, my b/f broke up with me, and another friend told me that he no longer wants to be my friend anymore.I have major issues.I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and Avoidance Personality Disorder (which is a serve form of social phobia! ) I wish I had someone to talk to…My whole world seems to be crashing down on me….

I am an attention seeker

Anonymous — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 10:03:52 +0000

I hate not being noticed. It makes me feel like I don’t exist. I’ve done a lot of insane things for attention. I spend a great deal of my time plotting ways to draw more attention to myself. I cut my hair into an extreme style; only a few people noticed. I am still trying to figure out ways to get people to notice me. But I really only do it because I don’t have any close relationships outside of my immediate family. I wish someone would care. I’ve always wanted a best friend, someone who I’m close to and who is close to me. I’ve never had one. I’m too socially impaired. A good analogy would be this: when you’re starving to death you’re willing to eat anything. When you’re starving for someone caring if you live or die, you get desperate for someone to give you some attention. I know I’m pathetic. I hate myself.

He’s my best friend, and I love him.

Anonymous — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 08:47:06 +0000

I told him I was interested a few months ago. We decided to “try
things”. We went on a few dates, I spent a few nights at his house. I fell
asleep in his arms and woke up in the same place. Actually, we’d both
wake up around the same time, separated from one another, but he’d
sleepily pull me close to him again so we could wake up together when his
alarm would go off. He kissed me in private, and he kissed me like he
meant it.

This lasted just a few weeks. Then, suddenly, he wanted to end things
(though I didn’t know initially). He stopped talking to me first, but
finally I wrestled the nasty truth out of him. I begged and pleaded
for him to make it work. He’s leaving in a year, and he’ll be gone for
five years when he does leave. By the time he returns, I’ll be
finishing up graduate school. I told him I was okay with him leaving for those
five years if he gave this one year an honest chance. His relationship
issues kept him from making the commitment. We haven’t talked in
almost three weeks.

I miss him. I say I don’t miss the relationship, and on one level I
don’t. On other levels, however, I can’t stop thinking about kissing
him, sleeping next to him, waking up with him, holding his hand…those
are all small prices to pay, however, if I can keep the friendship. I
don’t cry when I think about the loss of those things, but sob for
significant periods of time when I think about the friend I’m losing.

He says we’ll talk about it when I return from my vacation. I get back
in four days. I want to do this in person, I want to see his face
when we talk about whether or not it’s feasible to continue our
friendship. I want him to see my face when I start to cry if and when he says
that our friendship is over. Four years of my life cannot end like this.
I will not lose him.

A part of me still believes that we’re meant to be. He’s the only
person I can ever see wanting to marry.