I just turned 26. When I was 13, I got shot in the head. It was a miracle I survived. The right central portion of my brain was basically turned into hamburger. The surgeon diagnosed me epileptic due to the trauma.
After several years of medication, I was deemed well enough to stop taking my meds. I found out about two years ago that I have been seizing since, and it is only getting worse. The trauma has also caused bi-polar, schizophrenic tendencies. My now x-wife and I met 3 years ago. I love her with all of my heart. I would set myself on fire for her. But, at the same time I want to hurt her. I want to watch her suffer and then kill myself. I have tried to end my life in front of her before. Had she not turned her back on me and told me that she would rather me do it, I may have succeeded in my attempt. She is willing to be friends, and this I can deal with. But, even while I’m looking for her a birthday card, I want to watch as she suffers. Is till intend to end my life in front of her, but can’t stand the thought of her just not caring.